I know I have to finish what I came here for. I spent one sleepless night thinking about the perfect words to say, with conviction…without any hesitation. I’ve traveled how many kilometers just to realize my plan. It’s not going to be easy but I have to do it. My happiness is his loss and I feel like I’m the most selfish person alive. But I have to do it. I know I can. Somebody promised me. He would love me forever. And I know deep inside me I would just do anything for him. And so he told me if I love him I should let the other one go and we’ll start a new life together, full of love joy and companionship. And I’m doing right now exactly what he wanted. I’m doing this for him. I’m doing this for love. Ahh.. Love. It’s a crazy feeling. Makes the wrong seem right, leaves you numb, makes you want more. Makes you feel everything that you don’t imagine you could ever be. And so I patiently waited for him in his board house. I know he’s coming, I don’t know but the thought of It left my hands cold… and warm... and now its sweating. Somehow it feels the tension it’s going to face, and then I saw him. That handsome face which haunted me for a couple of years. The one I thought who would keep my heart beating forever. Until now. He was surprised when he saw me. I thought I saw in a glance a hint of longing in his eyes but that suddenly disappeared and what replaced it was a cold stare and for a for the moment I thought I knew well what I’m going to say. But looking at his sad eyes made me hesitate for a moment. “I waited for you for hours to meet me in your dormitory”. He said. What happened? I know I should spill out everything already. The time has come. I decided not to see you anymore. Was what I responded. I would like to see you that day you came unexpectedly in our school but what you didn’t know then was that I was with somebody else. I couldn’t face you that time because I’m afraid, to tell you everything…. “Is it that difficult for you to say you don’t love me anymore?” He snapped. I couldn’t utter a word. “If you’re having a hard time leaving me that means you’re not yet ready to let go of me.” “That you still love me. I couldn’t understand him. Here I am facing the guy I’ve come to love since I was 12, ready to break his heart. I’m a heartbreaker, a villain, a selfish woman, but yet he’s still hoping that this is something we could s till fix, that we could just forget that this ever happened. I expected anger and hatred from him because I have been unfaithful and I hated him for that because I was not prepared to respond to his consideration and plea. I expected him to burst out and tell me I’m the worst person he has ever met. But instead the opposite happened. That’s when I knew, I couldn’t take it anymore, he doesn’t deserve me and I don’t deserve him more. He deserves someone else. Why? Was all he asked. Was my love not enough for you? I was about to tell him its not because of him or anthing else. But I was taken aback when I saw tears in his eyes.
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